Does this look like a Valley to you? No ..it just looks like a total mess and that it is!!! In my life it is a valley that I can't seem to come out of. Many of you that have followed me will remember my beautiful home,yard,garden,flower beds,porch and all the things I have blogged in the past,but today it is a mess.It breaks my heart everyday I pull up and walk to the door. The walk ways where you once were welcomed are green and mildewed.The wood is rotten and hanging and the sewer is backing out the house.There is no smell of fresh herbs growing or flowers blooming. I don't blog this for anyone to feel sorry for me at all.I blog this because this is a valley and so bad I wish to be on the mountain top. I have stood firm and prayed and trusted God,but I can't see the top.
I never dreamed a few years back that my home would ever look like this..no it is not a cheap home at all and in a nice neighborhood at that. I just can't fix all this on my on and have no idea what to do. When Brian walked away he could careless if it all grows up and falls down around me and I feel just that.
You know I have always been one to call it black or white..the truth is the truth. I sit here and wonder how someone can move in a woman's home and take care of it and never look back. Oh when it sells if it does he will want his half,but I have to watch it decay. I'm ashamed for people to see it and even have my babies here to play outside.
I pray so hard for God to send me the answer or even just some help ...but still I wait. People tell me it will get better and I will be okay,but I wonder when. How bad do things have to get first? Will I ever make it to the top and look down? It also hurts to know all our lives we were in the church,but not one person has showed up to see if I needed a thing. The grass is knee high..wonder how many have a riding mower? Wonder if there is someone with a ladder to help with the rotten would? I may not be a widow,but if I understand Gods word he does call us to help those in need. I never thought Id be the one in need,but today I am in the Valley.
This used to be our beautiful garden and now looks like a wrecking yard for junk 
My beautiful home before I was left to make it on my on. 
Well Brenda, maybe you can get your kids to come over and lend a hand one day on the weekend. You've done a pretty good job of picking yourself up and wiping the dust off your bloomers...don't go in the other direction....God made you a strong woman...if your husband can do something like that to you then you are better off...let the other one have him. You deserve better!
ReplyDeleteBIG HUGS,
Robin
That would be good,but none live close,but one.
ReplyDeleteThank you girl and I am so proud of what God has done and the roof over my head,but somedays it is just hard.
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ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry....if I lived close i'd for sure come help you, we could have a girls work in the yard day. I pray things get better and that someone will have a heart and come give you a hand or two.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine if I were in that situation, I probably wouldn't have folks rushing over to help me. Sad that the world is that way...everyone always seems to busy to help those in need.
Brenda, you have done a good job of moving on with your life! You have a right to have a day to let all of your feelings out! You aren't going to feel great everyday! But on the other hand, you can have a beautiful future to look forward to! Don't underestimate what wonderful things God has in store for you! When you need to vent, I will listen to you! And for Brian, what goes around comes around! Take care sweety! Hugs from Darlene in Calif.
ReplyDeleteStarzie said it well. What comes around goes around. You have a beautiful home and I'm sure it won't take long to get it back together. I would help also if I lived closer. This is a sign for something wonderful headed your way!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much girls...im glad you all see sometimes we just have to get it out and Im proud to have you all =)
ReplyDeleteAs the others have said, I so wish I lived closer, we would all gather at your house and do what we could to help you fix it up!! I'm in shock that no one from your church has come over to offer help, that's so sad. Even your neighbours must see that you need some help. My heart truly goes out to you because this has been a big mountain for you to climb and although you don't see the top yet, you will one day!! Love to you. xoxo
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteCan you find a high school kid to help? They always seem to need gas money. I do a lot of the up keep on our home because my husband works so many hours. There is a cleaner called 60 second cleaner that is wonderful for mildew. Just spray it on and hose it off. Do a little pick up each day in your yard, it will make such a difference. You can do it! You are amazing!
Kay :)